If you’re looking for a fellow Highly Sensitive Person who has been in the sensitive trenches, limped through the HSP landmines, crawled through the muck of living amongst a slew of uncompromising non-sensitive people, who has known life-long physical disabilities, unemployment, worked dozens of jobs along the way, had a humble post-30 education at a lowly State University then grappled her way to an optimal life and career, then here I am. This is the story of my highly sensitive recovery.
My Highly Sensitive Recovery
Not to be confused with recovering from High Sensitivity!
The next several blogs will be based upon the prologue of my upcoming book, Addicted to Silence and Other Healthy Habits of the Highly Sensitive Person. Since a technical disaster that lost the first 100 pages of my book on Apple iCloud (for which Apple’s top technicians said was irretrievable after a month of attempts), I have reconstructed the Introduction of my book and will share it with you in segments.
And yes, losing those pages of my Self was one of my saddest moments. I grieved deeply for many months…as any highly sensitive person would!
I was a licensed psychotherapist managing three businesses and fading fast. I was besieged with internal and external stresses that made me feel small and often worthless at any of my endeavors, despite loving all three of my businesses.
For years I kept wondering, “but everyone else can do it, why can’t I?” It seemed so very unfair.
Highly Sensitive Recovery: Downtime Needed vs. Up-Time Demands
The amount of downtime I needed versus the amount of up-time to meet my demands was disproportionate. I worked 3 part-time careers and even if I only worked one of them on a specific week, I would still need nearly a full Saturday just lying staring at the ceiling (which I would later name and designate as my ceiling time).
How could it be that after so much education and training and experience, indulged in exactly the domains that I loved, I could be so miserable and sliding constantly towards burn out? I often spent weekends in full recovery mode, only to reapply myself on Monday mornings and slide down that slippery slope again by Wednesday.
My social life was a thin remnant of most everyone’s around me. My adored hikes and swims became more of a chore than an enjoyment. Finding time for the laundry and housework, grocery shopping and cooking felt like monumental and strangely exhausting tasks that I resented and often ignored.
Continuing my education in order to renew my annual psychotherapy license was simply overwhelming. My otherwise sharp, motivated and creative brain felt like it was missing its spark plugs. Where had they gone?
Looking for more? Continue reading Part 2 of My Highly Sensitive Recovery where I discuss the health effects of being a highly sensitive person.