Missed my last post? Read Part 3 where I discuss how Highly Sensitive Women give so much of their flame to a narcissist that they end up with only a flicker for themselves.
If one or any of these scenarios described in the first 3 blogs sound too familiar, and you are feeling worn out, depressed, hopeless in your endeavor to have a great relationship with the guy with whom you fell head-over-heels in love, I beg you to reach out to a counselor or therapist. Please hear me when I lovingly call out to you; IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
Please hear me when I say to you with all my heart; You cannot make this right and it has nothing—NOTHING to do with you.
There is nothing wrong with you!
No one is perfect but I’m talking about your core fundamental character and values, not your everyday quirks or foibles (and he will exaggerate every one of those as well if you have disappointed him). And be forewarned, when you are no longer able to hold up the adoring mirror for him to admire himself through your eyes, or when you’re getting a little worn down, he will easily look elsewhere for that degree of attention. Narcissists are notorious for having affairs as they need the fresh energy source (a new person) reassuring them constantly of their greatness. When they feel they’re not receiving their full supply of adoration from their highly sensitive partner, the relationship will deteriorate fairly quickly.
Nothing will change unless you change it
Even couple’s counseling with one partner being a narcissist will not work (for too many reasons to list). I’m so sorry to enlighten you as to the hard cold truth of this matter. I will write another blog in the near future with some suggestions for moving forward after taking in this harsh reality that I have painted for you. I am so sorry to be the bearer of such sad tidings. Having been there myself more than once, and knowing how long it took to recover any semblance of the vibrant woman I once was, I beg of you to take this wisdom very seriously.
Make a Plan
First and foremost, you will need to get out and get away from this person. You need a plan. I could write an entire chapter on the stories that my HSW clients have shared with me. None of them are pretty and some are downright terrifying when trying to get out of these toxic, soul-draining relationships.
Looking for more? On 7/27/2021 continue reading The HSP-Narcissist Magnet Part 5 where I discuss how you must first heal from a relationship before ever considering forgiving a narcissistic partner.