In my private practice with dozens of Highly Sensitive Women, it is easy to notice the recurring themes. There are times I begin to think we were all made from the same mold. Neurologically speaking, we very well may be. If we exit the womb with a greatly more sensitized brain and central nervous system in place, then the only thing left to create our differences are genetics and our early environments (or as Dr. Elaine Aron calls it “Differential Susceptibility”). Because of this higher attunement to all things great and small, it would seem somewhat natural that incoming data would be more finely filtered. Therefore, we may be taking random information, and especially comments from other people, and finding criticism that may not be there. HSPs seem to take things very personally. Perhaps some non-HSPs do as well, however, I’m watching for these themes and patterns amongst all my HSW patients. We need to be able to self-monitor and tune in better to our own observing ego. Meaning since HSPs find so much to be an affront, it is not making our lives easier. I have even had a few patients over the years, not come back to therapy because they even took being identified as an HSP as an affront. They felt criticized and said they “”did not like labels” and really resented this new one of high sensitivity. We must remember that we are able to make a choice when we are filtering new information as humans. We can choose to see it as neutral information or we can feel victimized by it. We have that choice and moment of reckoning with each thought that comes our way. Use your highly sensitive processing system in your favor; enjoy standing back and seeing it as neutral information. Then shake hands with your inner victor and throw the inner victim out with the trash!
First heal from a relationship before ever considering forgiving a narcissistic partner. It’s hard when they’ve been “too good to be true.”